Forever

“A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. And a sentimentalist, is man who sees an absurd value in everything, and doesn’t know the market price of any single thing.” ~Oscar Wilde~

What are you?

For I know for sure I am a sentimentalist.

I’ve never been good with good byes, slow to part with memories (never, to be frank). I’m a dreamer. And that sorta unnerves me at times. Can I survive? In this world? So far I am, but that doesn’t mean I’m doing a great job of it. If a sentimentalist goes by what Wilde made him out to be, he sounds like one who can’t even feed himself.

My problem (as pointed out by some close friends) is that I don’t know how to let go. Of people, of relationship, of happy stuff, of unhappy incidents.

“When you fall in love, you give away a part of yourself you can never take back.”

I remember saying that to a friend of mine once. I can’t remember for sure who that person is.

And I realized how true the statement is again last Saturday. Was waiting for Miss Goh on the train platform when I saw… Miss Zhang. For the info of people who don’t know, Miss Zhang was the first/last girl who has had the fortune/misfortune to get into a relationship with me. It’s been a good four years already. Somehow, we’ve managed to keep out of contact with one another. Trust me, I’ve tried to. It just didn’t happen.

Anyway, I digressed. The sight of her somehow “affected” my entire day. Till now, I’m still not sure if she “spoilt” it or “made” my day. On one hand it was great to see her again… from a distance. Nice to know that she’s doing well, didn’t get ran over by a car etc etc (oh! Did I mention she panics on roads?)

I didn’t go up to her. I didn’t know what to say to her. So I just walked around and looked. She still looks pretty much the same. With the exception of longer hair and the missing spectacles. Am not sure if she recognizes me. Then again no one does these days. I have no idea why. Anyway, caught her looking over a few times. I dunno man.

Am just affected.