To The Point

Sandra said the “old” Mike’s coming back again.

Timely warning. Much as I am not ashamed of my foul temper, I am equally proud of my ability to keep it in check.

“Huh?” I hear you say…. “Didn’t you just flare at a classmate lately?”

Yah, but trust me, that’s already “in check”. Nothing wrong with having a temper if you ask me. It’s the same as the biting-cold winds. Keeps you on your toes. Makes you alert.

Anyway, as Sandra was saying. The ole me was emerging again. She’s right. Felt as though I’m losing my grip lately. Was so angry I could just smash someone’s head into tables. Was so angry at the helplessness of it all. Was angry for feeling what I told myself never to feel. Was so angry that I wasn’t in control.

Ironic isn’t it? Losing control over feeling not in control. Haha.

Am grateful for Sandra. Think we’ve grown so close over the years that… I can imagine her exact facial expression as I read her msgs.

I “saw” how her face went when she went,

“erm. obviously XXX being attached doesn't bother YYY.”

I laughed.

And suddenly I wasn’t angry anymore.

Thank God for my little pertinent voice of reason- Sandra.

Why do I keep feeling what I told myself not to feel?