Somebody help.

Hello there. Missed me? I’m sure I missed you. How’s life? Sorry I haven’t been around much. First the stock take in camp totally drained me. Nope, it’s not physically straining. It’s just too much of senseless mundane counting of stuff. It’s so dreary that life and cheerfulness just gets sapped out of you. Secondly, I don’t have the mood to blog, the novelty hasn’t run out yet, it’s just that I’m too preoccupied with something. It’s been fleeting across my mind every so often daily that I don’t have time to think about anything else.
(Man on the moon by REM plays in the background)

Yup, so what are you thinking about? Well remember that I wrote sometime back that I’m having a recurring dream? I shall try to describe it in as much detail as I can….
Erm it takes place in a living room, most probably mine in the future. Everything’s white but not homogeneously white, there’re different shades of whites, all of which I don’t know the names to. Anyway I digress, yes it’s a white room, soothingly white, not the glary kind of white, and the sofa faces the window. It’s the kind of glass panel windows, which starts from the floor and goes all the way up to the ceiling. There a large white porcelain urn to the left of the window, it’s a round huge one big enough for one to sit in it, reaches up to the waist if you stand next to it. In it was some Japanese white willow. To the right of the window, there’re three smaller terracotta white urns with black goldfish inside (they’re the only black things around) oh and the window? It’s huge. Basically, take out a wall of your apartment and replace concrete for glass. Yup, those kind of windows, floor to ceiling and wall-to-wall. So facing all these, we have a white sofa too. That’s all with the setting.
Next, there’s me and someone else on the sofa. We’re both in white turtlenecks and yoga linen pants. Each of us has a white mug of some warm drink and we’re just sitting together, drinking and watching the downpour outside. It’s rather intimate, like I’ll sit like how everyone will on a sofa, and she’ll sit perpendicular to me, on me, drawing up her legs such that she can hug them. And I was just holding her and we’re both just sipping our drink, being warm, cozy, cuddly while watching the downpour outside, it was pure bliss.
So almost every day I’ll have this dream and before you guys starts sniggering and trying to guess who the other party is, well, here’s the haunting part.

She doesn’t have a face.

Relax, it’s not those typical Chinese b grade ghost story whereby a gal turns around and you see a blank in the place of a face. Wat I meant is that, I do not recognize who the hell she is! She is very pretty and that’s all I remember. Every time I try to “grasp” her looks, they simply delude me. It’s almost…. Indescribable. I’ll have this dream so often and every time I get to the point whereby I tell myself “Try to get a good long look at her and remember her face”, this sense of warm just washes over and you feel so blissful that it just doesn’t matter who she is at that point in time.
Yup, so I’ve been having a lot of this dream, it’s not a naughty fantasy. On one hand, it feels so blissful and I feel so loved in it. On the other, it’s haunting and I’ve become so obsessed in trying to pin a name of someone I know to that intangible face. But to no avail, I ran a mental list of every one I know since my memory served me. Zilch.

She looks normal, she looks divine, but who is she?